| My
practice is both phenomenological and a psychological journey into
the unconscious. With the intention of establishing an(other) identity,
the MA project questions what is real and imaginary, and looking into
a mirror I draw or film myself performing a different mundane ritual
linked by a repetitive motion. The compulsion to repeat acts as a
symbolic relationship between two polarities, towards drawing and
a direct response from the body or towards film and its reliance upon
technology.. In re(membering), the drawings are documented, captured
and stored on a video, while Screens attempts to subvert the gaze,
the videoed performances parodying a prescribed man made ideal of
beauty which questions the aesthetic of the image, the possessive
role of the viewer and the importance of ritual and obsession to the
work. Do the drawings hold a trace of something repressed within the
psyche, a memory trapped inside the screwed up balls, a moment stored
within the computer to be returned in the endless repetition of the
video. When she sits in front of the mirror to film what is she looking
at? Is she looking to firm up her chin, or wondering about the fine
lines under her eyes, or is she contemplating liposuction to plump
up her two lips so they close as one? Or is she a victim gasping for
breath, caught in an obsessive cycle of ecstatic pleasure? Or is she
pretending? But like the woman in the dark poem ‘The Lady of
Shallot’ by Alfred Lord Tennyson, when she looks into the mirror
(reality) it cracks, and the spell (imaginary) is broken so the wo(man)
must die. But as the mirror has a silver backing which is hidden from
the gaze, so there is always the possibility of being re-born.
I
have learned from the experience of the MA that nothing is ever
completed, that no one can ever go back, that my own process is
through confusion that will show me where I am right now….
|